The adventures of Brad, the hypnolamb

Brad was brought to me on February 8 2012 by the washing machine.

Brad and Pitt, sadly only Brad survived. Damn cold wave in February 2012. Own photo, licence:Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported/ CC by SA

Well no, actually Brad’s mother died some hours after he was born. Her death was completely unexpected, something must have gone very wrong because of the cold. It was -13°C (8.5°F) that night. She was in the straw storage stable with Kleines and the lamb of Kleines, but it wasn’t enough.

Brad was wearing diapers in the house, where he spent most of the first week of his life. The dogs were his nurses, I was his mom (milk offering maid). The tiny problem with male lambs and diapers is, that the “bung” of the lamb always peeks out.

Brad explores the snowwhite world (February 11). Here he gets cleaned by Bach. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported/ CC by SA

Brad, Bach and Strubbel. Strubbel was a one years old lamb with greasy skin. The greasy skin made her look scrubby. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported/ CC by SA

Brad in front of the door. He's probably peeing. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported/ CC by SA

Maybe a first sign of his superpowers, Brad was peeing here for a veeery long time. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported/ CC by SA

Brad runs with superspeed. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported/ CC by SA

Brad, casting long shadows. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported/ CC by SA

The snow started to thaw on February 13.

On February 15 Brad decided to sleep in the straw stable with Stirnlöckchen old sheep, altes schaf and her newborn lamb. That was a good decision. Stirnlöckchen is an over 10 years old, dignified sheep lady, who shouldn’t get any lambs anymore. Unlike the other ewes, she’s not fast enough to hit the lambs of others. Her son, who called on my milk-services, and Brad became close friends.

Brad thinks dogs are sheep. Together they explored the pasturage and the rest of the world. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported/ CC by SA

On February 18 Brad decided, that he wants to stay outside during the day, but not alone. Mom has to stay outside with him. His hypnotic gaze is irresistible. I had to live outside for some days. At least Brad still slept in the straw hotel.

Brad with his bodyguard Phex. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported/ CC by SA

Bodyguard Bach (Bernese mountaindog) a girl and Brad on February 20. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0)

Brad, a lambgirl and Bach. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0)

Brad on the pasturage. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0)

Bodyguard Rudi and Brad on February 25. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0)

On March 5 I applied tetanus shots to all the lambs, including Brad. Luckily the needle didn’t break on his steelwool. This was the first time he put me on his list of people he’ll turn into slaves when he’ll take over the world. (No, I’m not serious. Just adding this remark in case some Germans read this.)

Brad on March 9 with a bit of milkfoam at his mouth. He was drinking fast. own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0)

Brad with milkfoam at his mouth. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0)

Brad walks to his mom on March 15. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported/ CC by-SA

Brad with a malicious smile and Kleines, who looks rather scared in Brad's direction. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported/ CC by-SA

Pure cuteness. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported/ CC by-SA

Then I reduced the milk for Brad and gave him dry sheep food instead. A hard time for hypnolamb.

Brad eats dry sheepfood on March 22. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License/ CC by-SA

Brad is not really thin (March 23). Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License/ CC by-SA

Brad reminds me, that he is hungry (March24). Sometimes he reminds dogs and cats, that he is hungry. Dogs and cats fear him and run away. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License/ CC by-SA

Brad says: “Take my feet. Now open your mind to me. Open your mind… open your mind…”

The hypnotic power of Brad. I .. have... to give... him food... I can't... resist. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License/ CC by-SA

Brad tells another lamb a joke on April fools' day. Own photo, Licence: Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License/ CC by-SA

Then he acts as if there was something good in an empty bucket. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License/ CC by-SA

The bucket can also be used to scratch the head. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License/ CC by-SA

Brad, you weren't serious, or? Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License/ CC by-SA

On April 3 John (a friend) assigned Brad a special operation in the USA.
Brad’s diary:
8:00am I arrived at John’s home and drove some evil spirits out of his house.
9:30am I ate all of John’s books and his toilet paper. Now I am hungry again. I think I go back home.

Sheep like to eat paper, books, business cards and so on.

On April 21 I was deworming the sheep with intramuscular injections of Niratil. Brad indicted me for assault and battery.

Brad on April 21. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported/ CC by-SA

Brad leads and the other sheep follow... eventually. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported/ CC by-SA

We had visitors. Visitors bring your rubber boots and don’t forget a carrot for the guardsheep! Brad liked to get attention of Elissa (the traveling pear). Brad thought: “A new recruit for my army.”

On April 24 Brad yelled at me in the morning on the pasturage because the weather was bad and he was hungry. I scratched him behind the ear and he said: “Mom I am too old for this now. My friends will laugh if I behave like a baby.” Okay then. We walked to the stable at the road and back. Brad followed me around. He doesn’t mind to look like a baby if he gets food afterwards. We went back to the cottage and I let him inside. I gave him a bowl of granulated sheep food and that made Brad very happy. He took me off the list of people he will turn into slaves with his hypnogaze. When he had nearly finished his breakfast, I put the bowl outside, rattling it a bit. And he followed the bowl. Food always works as a bait. When the bowl was empty, Brad started to cry. He yelled for me and I had to hide or he just doesn’t stop to cry. All my bottle-fed lambs were like this, and I never get used to it. Their hypnocry makes me want to cuddle them immediately. I resist, I am strong. And eventually Brad walks off and finds the other sheep who roam around the park somewhere.

On April 25 I was sitting on the pasturage in the afternoon and cuddling Brad. Then Miniputz came. I went back to the stable, lamb and cat followed. Miniputz purred and wanted to jump on my back. I am some kind of mobile tower for her. Brad got jealous. I have never seen him that angry before. He tried to hit her with the side of his head. Much tooo slow. She moved two steps ahead, out of the range of the deadly, woolly weapon. I decided to end the fight of the titans by climbing over the fence. Brad yelled for me. I resisted. Is life difficult? You decide.

On April 26 we got a new lamb.

Brad and another lamb inspect the new recruit. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported/ CC by SA

Brad approves the lamb. 'She'll be strong and beautiful. Besides, I like girls.' Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported/ CC by SA

On April 29 I had to eat breakfast in my sleeping room, because Berta was looking through the windows of the living room from the outside and yelling hungrily at me (sheep are always hungry). Brad and her two lambs were cheering for her. She might be his state secretary or such. Since their tactic didn’t pay off, they let me have breakfast in the living room on the following day. I bet they work on a plan how to make me feed them 24/24.

I will update this story about the adventures of Brad from time to time. May he live long and prosper!

3 thoughts on “The adventures of Brad, the hypnolamb

  1. […] Brad and his minions explore the world. Today Brad and Berta pulled down the heavy flower-box in front of the living room windows. Seems to be a protest against the torrential rain we got. Nobody is hurt, except the flower-box. Schlafmütz (sleeping cap, a cat) complains, that it was her seat. Now she can’t sit and scratch on the window anymore. A strange yellow snake? The garden hose is an object of the sheeps scientifical exploration. Own photo, licence: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported/ CC by SA […]

  2. […] Brad wanted to get castrated anyways. “The libido is only distracting me from achieving world […]

  3. […] He doesn’t attack the dogs anymore and is very peaceful. The days, in which he wanted to achieve the world domination, are over. He is no superhero anymore, he is a holy lamb or at least our spiritual leader. Brad. […]

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