Brad was brought to me on February 8 2012 by the washing machine.
Well no, actually Brad’s mother died some hours after he was born. Her death was completely unexpected, something must have gone very wrong because of the cold. It was -13°C (8.5°F) that night. She was in the straw storage stable with Kleines and the lamb of Kleines, but it wasn’t enough.
Brad was wearing diapers in the house, where he spent most of the first week of his life. The dogs were his nurses, I was his mom (milk offering maid). The tiny problem with male lambs and diapers is, that the “bung” of the lamb always peeks out.
The snow started to thaw on February 13.
On February 15 Brad decided to sleep in the straw stable with Stirnlöckchen and her newborn lamb. That was a good decision. Stirnlöckchen is an over 10 years old, dignified sheep lady, who shouldn’t get any lambs anymore. Unlike the other ewes, she’s not fast enough to hit the lambs of others. Her son, who called on my milk-services, and Brad became close friends.
On February 18 Brad decided, that he wants to stay outside during the day, but not alone. Mom has to stay outside with him. His hypnotic gaze is irresistible. I had to live outside for some days. At least Brad still slept in the straw hotel.
On March 5 I applied tetanus shots to all the lambs, including Brad. Luckily the needle didn’t break on his steelwool. This was the first time he put me on his list of people he’ll turn into slaves when he’ll take over the world. (No, I’m not serious. Just adding this remark in case some Germans read this.)
Then I reduced the milk for Brad and gave him dry sheep food instead. A hard time for hypnolamb.
Brad says: “Take my feet. Now open your mind to me. Open your mind… open your mind…”
On April 3 John (a friend) assigned Brad a special operation in the USA.
8:00am I arrived at John’s home and drove some evil spirits out of his house.
9:30am I ate all of John’s books and his toilet paper. Now I am hungry again. I think I go back home.
Sheep like to eat paper, books, business cards and so on.
On April 21 I was deworming the sheep with intramuscular injections of Niratil. Brad indicted me for assault and battery.
We had visitors. Visitors bring your rubber boots and don’t forget a carrot for the guardsheep! Brad liked to get attention of Elissa (the traveling pear). Brad thought: “A new recruit for my army.”
On April 24 Brad yelled at me in the morning on the pasturage because the weather was bad and he was hungry. I scratched him behind the ear and he said: “Mom I am too old for this now. My friends will laugh if I behave like a baby.” Okay then. We walked to the stable at the road and back. Brad followed me around. He doesn’t mind to look like a baby if he gets food afterwards. We went back to the cottage and I let him inside. I gave him a bowl of granulated sheep food and that made Brad very happy. He took me off the list of people he will turn into slaves with his hypnogaze. When he had nearly finished his breakfast, I put the bowl outside, rattling it a bit. And he followed the bowl. Food always works as a bait. When the bowl was empty, Brad started to cry. He yelled for me and I had to hide or he just doesn’t stop to cry. All my bottle-fed lambs were like this, and I never get used to it. Their hypnocry makes me want to cuddle them immediately. I resist, I am strong. And eventually Brad walks off and finds the other sheep who roam around the park somewhere.
On April 25 I was sitting on the pasturage in the afternoon and cuddling Brad. Then Miniputz came. I went back to the stable, lamb and cat followed. Miniputz purred and wanted to jump on my back. I am some kind of mobile tower for her. Brad got jealous. I have never seen him that angry before. He tried to hit her with the side of his head. Much tooo slow. She moved two steps ahead, out of the range of the deadly, woolly weapon. I decided to end the fight of the titans by climbing over the fence. Brad yelled for me. I resisted. Is life difficult? You decide.
On April 26 we got a new lamb.
On April 29 I had to eat breakfast in my sleeping room, because Berta was looking through the windows of the living room from the outside and yelling hungrily at me (sheep are always hungry). Brad and her two lambs were cheering for her. She might be his state secretary or such. Since their tactic didn’t pay off, they let me have breakfast in the living room on the following day. I bet they work on a plan how to make me feed them 24/24.
I will update this story about the adventures of Brad from time to time. May he live long and prosper!