I kept this experience for a fictional story about someone else. But will use it now. Contrary to common beliefs experiences are not necessarily made for forever. Dementia diseases can take them away from us. I noticed, that most people I know, have had wonderful lives – good for them – and can’t even imagine how horrible mine used to be.
I write it down though.
When my boyfriend told me a week before Christmas, that he would leave me on the following day, I asked him, if he wasn’t scared, that I would hit him. He answered: “No, you don’t hit men.” That surprised me even more than his leaving. I do hit men. Why wouldn’t I? Men are physically strong. In terms of muscles they are not the weaker sex. I wouldn’t feel like a bully if I’d hit a man. He can hit back. Even if I’d hit a woman I don’t see the problem, I am a woman myself. We’re equal. And no, I am no pacifist. I should be a pacifist.
But he was right, I didn’t hit him. Even if I only throw things at other things, it can get expensive. I remember a tiny fault in the keyboard lid of the piano of another ex-boyfriend of mine. Caused by a deck of cards thrown by me in anger. But that’s another story.
To gain a crown
Many years ago I had a relationship with a hardcore punk-bass player. One evening he came home completely drunk. We lived on the top floor of a mansion block. He started to raise a quarrel in front of the door of the flat, on the staircase. He had been a boxer in his youth and he was expert in raising quarrels. He did it frequently. He raised his arm and and struck a blow at me. I dodged the punch and the momentum made him fall against the wooden banister with his face. A front tooth broke. Blood everywhere on the staircase. Would have been funny, that he somehow knocked his own tooth out. But I feared, he would think, that I knocked his tooth out.
He was stunned. I carried him into the flat and dropped him on his bed. Then I cleaned the staircase.
On the next morning he couldn’t remember what had happened. At least he accepted my explanation. He got a crown. Those were the times when the normal health insurance paid for artificial teeth. Nowadays they wouldn’t pay and that’s why I don’t hit men. It can become expensive. Don’t feel too safe though, in extreme situations I would make an exception.
This work by https://stanzebla.wordpress.com/ is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.